MK Krap
by Jamesbuc
Summary: A random splash of things found in various notes,files,texts and emails about mortal kombat. : Enjoy the randomness!


Tanya: Hi! Im Tanya.. You know.. The one who betrays people for stuff. Anyhow im being paid to do this beginning bit so I can tell everyone what this krap is. It probably kame from a konkussion that the author gained from krashing down the stairs head first. Its a small kollection of random Mortal Kombat Krap that was found in a long lost and thought to be boobytrapped folder. Enjoy!

* * *

Jade: TANYA! You have betrayed your own realm of edenia to help the scum of the outworld! Why?

Tanya: Free cookies n Juice. :)

* * *

(Raiden blows up the palace in an attempt to kill shang tsung, quan chi and Onaga. The blast subsides, The dragon king gets up, Raiden is alive and dazed on the floor, Quan chi and Shang Tsung are running away from the building) 

Onaga: God what a shitty blast!

* * *

Jax: Id like a large soda and some chips 

Geeky Assistant: Im afraid we're all out of chips sir

Jax: WHAT! That's it! I challenge you to mortal kombat!

(The Assistant gets out a deck of playing cards)

Jax: Umm… Its not a card game

* * *

Ermac: That's it Kenshi… move the pot of water…. Up… Down… Use your mind 

(Suddenly Kenshi drops the pot)

Ermac: Goddammit Kenshi! We are NEVER going to be on crystal maze at this rate!

* * *

Sonya: Dammit Jonny! Where's the volleyball 

Jonny: Broke it

Sonya: WHAT! Now what are we going to use!

_(Cyrax walks by, Sonya smiles wickedly)

* * *

_

Jade: Tanya! You have betrayed Edenia to help the scum of outworld… AGAIN! Why?

Tanya: Free Cable and Beer :)

* * *

Hsu Hao: I THINK MY TOES ARE JELOUS OF MY FINGERS BECAUSE THEY GET TO POINT AT THINGS! 

Mavado: Why did I even hire you?

* * *

Moloch: Hey at least I don't look like something from mount crapmore! 

(Points at Drahmin)

Drahmin: Hey!

* * *

Spirit: Jade! Tanya is your sister! 

Jade: WHAT! Oh that sucks!

* * *

Havik: CHAOS SHALL RULE! RULE LIKE SPAGETTI! TIS FREEFORM TIS IS! 

(Sonya and Jonny are using Cyrax's air exaust bag as a volleyball)

Cyrax: Clogged… Up… With…. Sand!

* * *

Kitana: I will defeat you Mileena! 

Jade: Kitana! Its Jade!

Kitana: Oh sorry…

* * *

Onaga: Ah! The one Kamidoku! Thanks Tan… Huh? 

Tanya: Yoink!

* * *

Kobra: I THINK MY TOES ARE JELOUS OF MY FINGERS BECAUSE THEY GET TO POINT AT THINGS! 

Kira: Why did Kabal even hire you?

* * *

Stryker: Yes… Id like this nudie mag and some chips 

Geeky Assistant: We don't have any Chips Sir…

Stryker: WHAT! I challenge you to mortal kombat!

(The Assistant gets into a fighting pose)

Stryker: Wait… I thought it was a card game?

* * *

Havik: _(To the tune of 'The flintstones')_ Oh im Havik! Havik Bannanna! Im the most chaotic guy in history! 

Havik: From the! Realm of Chaos! Im about to hit Noob and Smoke!

(He runs them over)

Havik: Haha! Bitches!

* * *

(Jonny and Kenshi are playing Chequers) 

Kenshi: aha!

(Kenshi takes 3 black pieces)

Jonny: Dammit! I always lose with black pieces! I hate black!

(Suddenly Jonny gets punched into the roof by Jax)

Jax: That's for bein Racist homes!

Sonya: Jesus… You get more and more gangsta every time we see you…

* * *

Onaga: Oh!!! I am Onaga! I rule this freakin realm like an orange! All bow down before me! Ummm… Nothing rhymes with orange! 

Tanya: How about Prange?

Onaga: That's not a real word!

* * *

Darrius: I THINK MY TOES ARE JELOUS OF MY FINGERS BECAUSE THEY GET TO POINT AT THINGS! 

Resistance guard: Why are you even our leader?

* * *

Kitana: Die Mileena! 

Tanya: Its Tanya!

Kitana: Oh okay.. Wait! Get out of my room!

* * *

Dariou: Halt! I am here to… 

(Suddenly Hotaru stabs him, Dariou slumps to the floor)

Dariou: Goddamit! Less time talking! More time killing!

* * *

(Shang Tsung is suddenly made young again) 

Shang Tsung: Ah… Souls… Better than Lipo I always say!

* * *

Spirit: Liu Kang… Shang Tsung is your father! 

Liu Kang: Whoa! I didn't know outworld liquor could cause this!

* * *

Sonya: Rose and Raiden Sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! 

Yin: Better than what Anna and Yang are doing

* * *

Noob: And we will rule! As we are the… Ewww! SMOKE! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT SMOGGING THE ROOM! 

Smoke: oops.. hehe

* * *

Jax: Wazzup Homeys!

* * *

Sonya: Hey… Yeah id like a smoothie and some chips 

Geeky Assistant: We don't have any chips miss

Sonya: That's it! I challenge you to mortal kombat!

(The assistant gets out some cards as does Sonya)

Announcer: ROUND 1… FIGHT!

(Sonya chucks the razor sharp cards, they all hit the assistant and he falls down)

Announcer: SONYA WINS! ROUND 2…. ROUND 2…. ROUND…

Sonya: I don't think he's getting up…

* * *

Mokap: I THINK MY TOES ARE JELOUS OF MY FINGERS BECAUSE THEY GET TO POINT AT THINGS! 

Jonny: I agree:)

* * *

(Kitana is fighting Mileena, suddenly she teleports across the room) 

Jade: Hey bitch! You stole my move!

Kano: Hey don't sweat! I mean Kira stole my roll move

Jade: Uh huh…

Kano: Jarek stole my lazer move

Jade: Uh huh…

Kano: and Shujinko stole EVERYONE'S moves!

Jade: Yah…

* * *

Tanya: I think thats all for now peeps! Anyway have fun.. and.. Damm.. I need to do more filler! ummm. This is corny isnt it? 

Ed Boon: Tanya... What did we say about the k's?

Tanya: Oh god... What you gonna do? Set your bitch on me?

Ed Boon: Scorpion!

Scorpion: What! Im trying on makeup! This better be good or your outta here darling!

Tanya: Riiight... Anyway bye guys! _(Sidekicks Scorpion into an acid pit)_ Buh Bye! )


End file.
